You definitely know there is something wrong with you when you bleakly stare into a glass of Goon mixed with Bundy Rum before swilling it down and thoroughly enjoying it.My stomach was well aware of the problem as it refused to keep the alcomoholic beverages in the tummy. I spent a good amount of time being intimate with Gab-jo's exquisite toilet, sink, and bathtub. As you can tell when drunk I really do get around.
So when I awoke in the morning feeling groggy without pants I figured that thanks to the bigest miracle since Jesus turned water into wine I'd seen some action in the downstairs department. Much to my chagrin when I rolled over it was just me and a rumpled up sleeping bag I've taken home and now named Betty.
The moral of the above tale? Well their really isn't any except Jake's Jamiesons (excuse the pun) is a dead set ripper of a beverage. Consequently when I drank some coke this morning it tasted off without the sweet alcoholic goodness of Jamiesons. Unfortunately Maccas didn't want to supersize my coke with it for 35cents. Perhaps Maccas could make some extra dosh if only they offered Coke with Jamiesons as part of their 'taste sensations'. Certainly something that would make me go MMMMMMMM. Its amazing that an interlect such as this isn't unleashed on the workforce.
However, I could soon be splicing my favourite past time of drinking with actual real work. No, its not a misprint I have an interview tomorrow at Liquorland. Its a superstore of, believe it or not, liquor. Hopefully I'll be able to stop drooling long enough to look respectable like.
Someone once told me that first you get the khakis, then you get the jobs, then you get the chicks! Now, I just bought a pair of khakis (the sales gal was extremely lovely) and I have job potential tomorrow! Following that train of thought its only a matter of time before all three items are ticked off the list.
Anyways kids i'm off to practice my sales face in the mirror!
Yours,
John Cutter
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