I Wish I Had Balls This Big In High School -J.J.

Have you ever had something to say but was too afraid to say it? Ever had an opinion you wanted to express but could never find the right words? Ever had strange emotions you wish you could do something about but was just too shit-scared to make the first move? Have you ever run like a girl at 90miles an hour in front of all your peers just because a bunch of homies threatened to kick your pansy white booty??

I'm pretty sure most can appreciate being in similar situations as described above, although maybe not the last..... but I think I just realised something. So far I've led a pretty big mess of a life. Every possible life altering moment has been ruined, crushed, and utterly thrown down the poop shoot due to a sheer lack of courage on my behalf. Instead of doing what I've wanted I've ended up turning most situations into some big dumb 'ha-ha' type joke (upon which when all stories are added it makes for some moderatly entertaining reading - but maybe thats just my opinion). It was only a few years ago I threw away a pretty easy oppurtunity to get somewhere with an amazing young woman (by looks anyway - personality was obviously lacking) because I was too worried that I'd SUCK!... actually I'm not sure thats a regret, I think my penis and the HIV/Herpes foundation owes me a big thank-you for not accepting the transmission of that bad piece of walking fungus.... Gobble Gobble Gobble Schloooooooong!

But anyway, the moral of the lesson you ask? I'm not sure there is one. I sort of just realised that in hindsight things could have been a lot better, but then again I wouldn't have had the same 'Good Times' if I had have done things like a sane person. I don't think I'm a better parent for it yet (.......*cough*), and chances are when placed in similar situations I'll run like a girl again, but I'm pretty sure I'm not as retarded as I used to be. Maybe things would have been worse if I had balls this big in highschool..?!?!? I'll never know!

Jake Jamieson